i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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