My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
