You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
