i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
