Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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