Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize