Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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