he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you had me at cake vodka
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
