Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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