Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
