Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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