the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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