last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
