Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
