Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
