Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
