I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
