Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
