im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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