How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
