i think i have two assholes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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