you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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