I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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