I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
