Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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