i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
