I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
