i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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