I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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