Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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