return my video game
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize