That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
