Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize