dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
