we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
