You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
last night I used snow as a chaser
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
