I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
