I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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