thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
