I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you will always have a special place in my vag
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
