We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
