May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
