Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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