Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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