Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize