do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
