please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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