I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize