At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
