i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize