the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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