have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
