OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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