Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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