forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How does one acquire holy water?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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