I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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