Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
