Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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