i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
