I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
