Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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