You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize