did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hippo gnu deer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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